What is wrong with these people?!?!

It has been far far too long since the last time I got to kill someone!!! These people are such soft hearted fools! First off, that family that lost their children certainly would've been improved by a little death in the family and if not them, their uncaring neighbors would surely not have been missed! I think I might explode! Days, it's been days!!!! The priest deserves death for his lackluster preformance that set us to this path surely? Then the kidnapping gypsies are certainly fair game, am I right? But no, I must behave myself for the good of the group! BLAH!!! They wouldn't even let me kill the vampire and he's already DEAD!!! I tell you, if I don't get to kill something soon, I might just have to....well, let's just say, "explore" other options?

Sigh

Another month has passed, and it's another month of futility in my quest to bear a child. I've slept with humans, elves, half-elves, orcs, half-orcs, dwarves, halflings, minotaurs, gorgons and even a gnome (twice).

Alas! When will I have a daughter of my own? Oh sisters, I know you laugh to read this, you scoff at my motherly desires, but if only you could feel them yourself! I've already built a cradle made from fish bones, and crafted blankets of the softest elven skin and hair. It's all waiting for whenever I should become blessed with a baby of my own!

There is hope, however. The thief that I've been accompanying lately...I think he has an eye for me. He's always staring, and the nightly groans I hear creeping from his room lead me to believe he's fertile! Perhaps tonight is finally my night.

Yours,
Feldra

Jezebel and Arnulet

Conversion between Jezebel (the awakened baboon) and Arnulet (the druid).

After the adventures left the hidden valley the two expressed their opinions.
(Arnulet) You were with them long than me, do you think we can trust these adventurers.
(Jezebel) They are a rough bunch. The sneering elf, Killian who smells like a human, can not be trusted. He is a violent unpredictable creature. We should avoid any future interaction with him. The sneaky lookin’ elf, Cliticus, only seems to care about the almighty gold piece. His loyalty can be bought or sold by the highest bidder. He is quiet, but they listen to him when he talks. I doubt we could pay him enough to secure his services, but we might be able to pay him to look the other way. As you know Hag are vile evil beasts that only care about themselves. This Feldra, is the most civilized hag I have ever heard of. She doesn’t listen to the humanoids and does what she pleases. We should keep an eye on her, I believe she will lose interest in the other humanoids one day and probably kill and skin them while they sleep. The only redeeming soul in the bunch is the little gnome, Van, quite a charmer. That one could probably talk a dragon into giving away all its treasure. He seemed honest and straightforward if we ever have to deal with these adventures again we should use him as an intermediary.
(Arnulet) I agree with your observations. The warhorse and the wardog said they are taken care of and treated well except for a couple of times when they have been forced to fight to save their owners. The few trinkets we gave them should buy their loyalty for the time being. Someday they may come back asking for more from us. We should be ready to dispose of them quickly. I think animals would enjoy eating meat again.

Another day closer to my vengeance……a day in the life of Killian Gil Ravdri

A fortuitous meeting, I find myself in a group of ne’er do wells, but at least it’s been profitable. It seems that said group has been working for a circus master of questionable morals and deep pockets and has been gathering up the escaped animals for the idiot. I mean really, what type of businessman lets all of his assets get away; maybe I should divest the fool of all this money he’s just giving away anyway! Well, at least the group is interesting, there an Elf, a Gnome and of all things a Hag! Now the hag and the gnome are quite interesting to say the least! It seems that this little gnome has attracted the interest of a beautiful human girl and the hag seems to be enamored of him as well! I have to admit that I find the situation interesting and have to take note of the fact that both the human and hag seem to look at the gnome with quite the same twinkle in their respective eyes…..I wonder….a well, I won’t tell the gnome that hags can change shape, seeing as he seems to be enjoying himself so much and who knows, I could be wrong….though I doubt it!
A well, back to my tale….after tracking the missing horses we encounter a stinky, smelly and rude little ape, I personally thought we should break the lying little chits arms and legs, but my companions seem to lack the proper perspective in things and we kept it more or less unharmed. It did lead us to the person responsible for the thefts and we worked out a deal with the ergo bitch that managed to work out quite well for us later on. Hmm…I think my companions forgot to give me my money, I’ll have to make sure I get it later, not that it matters at the moment, I can always collect the other way if I need to….
Anyway, after turning the horses in we ran into a little problems with some sheep fuc….handlers…so we decided to go on up and see what the problems were. They each accused the other of stealing their smelly beasts and of course the idiots were both wrong! It seems that a local dryad got herself a bad case of undeath…she tried to bugger a vampire and got herself impaled by his teeth rather than his…well, you get the drift….so off we are to find a cure and who do we go to…the ergo bitch herself…not a lot of help, but she did tell us where to find a necromancer that might be able to help, too bad the corpse fuc….raiser decided that to help we need to go steal some holy relics..oh well, it’s not my God and we need the stuff, so we can get some more loot…I mean help the dryad and farmers….ah well, it should be interesting and at least we’ll get out of this shit hole for a bit…maybe I can find a nice whore….or maybe I’ll just kill something….

Revenge shall be mine……a tale of Killian Gil Ravdri

Fairmont? What a shit hole!!! Oh well, I guess it’s better than being at the end of a rope. How did I come to this, I deserve so much more in my life…ah memories….It all started when that bitch Shasu and my ever some wonderful cousin Davyn conspired against me! Davyn, the golden, Davyn the fair oh he’s so wonderful….Well how wonderful is he now, while feeding the flowers? And Shasu, oh so lovely Shasu, who led my on and enticed me? I hope my seed flourishes well in her, so that she never forgets me! How could they betray me so, Davyn knew I was courting Shasu, the damned full blooded bastard! I bet he just couldn’t stand that an impure partial blood would get the fair Shasu, well he learned his last lesson well with the very arts he taught me! Oh the irony, the student bests the master!
Still, it should’ve been different and my parents should’ve understood, but no, they too turned upon me, but I will return and when I do, they’ll all learn…I will teach them all!!! Damn! Where’s the Inn in this damn piss hole anyway? There it is, The Icy Unicorn…lovely….a shit hole named after a stupid unicorn…icy is fitting though, damned aloof creatures….I wish I could kill one right now…..

Kukita Shogo comeing to Fairmont

After landing in fairmont after a long hard trip here you'd think with my military savings i could at least not have so mop the damed decks. Yes I know a poor old ninja yea right the funny thing is the first mate always got mad at me cause he or his men could never find me yet the floors where done I mean what more do thay want i wonder by the love of the dark mother what have I got my self into now.

So here i am in fairmont a run down town that seems to be having a Circus with magical critters I decided to go to the Icy Unicorn!! BAH!!! the finest fighter my ass.....

So yes i see these other people siting around telling high tails bards doing there thing and me the only i see siting around here some human in armour with a spell book mmm note taken, some elf in leather armour that seems to be worn at the knees, a human that seems to be armored and has seen at least some action i can tell, and oh gods a holyer then thow paladin oh save me dark mother,

so ye this Mike Kelty the half wit of the circus owners son ask this Steveros Galas to get some poor sods to gather up his lost animals

And when did i ever be come a old sod i wonder?

So low on cash as I was. I stupidly took the job with some half wits with little knowledge of true dangers of the world.

So we decided to go after THE AMAZING FLYING HOUSE of commonly called hypnogriff my god people call it what it is!

so the smart warrior when i say smart I'm jugging it to how well he maintains his sword dull as a hammer indeed. Anyways the boy gets the idea to restrain said flying critter by putting a rope around his neck portentously problem i think so 1 he does not think of tieing said rope to the tree and 2 even a deaf monk can hear him how load his armour clanks and how he has a lead foot.

my god it worked well to a point he got the rope around the horse trys to get away and I'm shocked but yes kids milk does the body good apparently that muscle bound sack of meat in a tin can waiting for someone to open that can and eat it seems to be holding the horse at bay well someone needs to subdue it so my self and some other take shots at it not trying to kill the poor thing just preswade it to stay still. Finely after a few well shot crossbow bolts by yours truly and the horse gives up we got are cash then we decide to wait a day?

yea ok so after what 12 hours how fair do you think wild animals would go the winged ones say bye bye to for sure so we get a tip that a metal snake is at a old mans house
we get to the house look around and heavens hold oh yea its a metal snake alright poisonous it seems that some of my more unfortunate team members that decided to go under the house found out

thinking out side of the box i decide to cut the floor of the house to "assist" more like i wanted to piss off the old man i have not been able to be evil all day. so yea we killed the snake what a waste of time not much cash in this one.

i decide to let them around up some more with out me as ill look for something more constructive to do with my time perhaps theres someone in this town that will pay me to kill MR. Kelty

Session 7 The Great Circus Escape part 3

Session 7 The Great Circus Escape

“Gritz” (Greg) Human Sorcerer-4
Ark “the Lad” (Ben) Human Paladin-2
Elynthorial (Achilles) Half-Elf Cleric-3
Van McAllister (Mark) Gnome Beguiler-2

Cliticus (Dave) Elf Rogue-3 (not present)
Kukita Shogo (Brandon) Human Ninja-1 (not present)
Steve (Steve) Human Warblade–3 (not present)
Brother Yoshi Toturo (Josh) Human Monk-2 (not present)
Old Mother Feldra (Mike) Annis Hag-3HD (not present)
Brother Adept Theo (Josh) Shifter Monk-2 (retired)

Memoirs of a Paladin 1

Month x, Day xx

I've finally arrived in the city of Fairmont. It has been weeks of travel to get here, but it is the will of the gods that I become a hero of this place. It's a modest town, it seems no different than any other to me. I wonder if Sir Jillead had ever come here..

Month x, Day xx

Amazing! After spending only one night at the Icy Unicorn, I've managed to find those in need of my assistance. It seems that a circus had been enroute to the town, but was attacked by an unknown force, which set all the animals free! I gladly agreed to aid in the recovery of these creatures, and joined a posee of questionable morals.. But I guess they're just looking for a way to stake out a living for themselves... We'll see.

We managed to.. uhm.. capture.. three beasts in one day! First, a mighty hippogriff thanks to some exceptionally skilled rope use and a bit of muscle. Next, we took down a metal snake from under a farmer's house. One of my fellows damaged the old man's floor though, I'll have to return to the man to pay for the damages.. It's the least I could do.. I guess.. The last animal we managed to subdue before nightfall was a great big wingless horned dragon! It was one of the most impressive beasts I've yet laid eyes on. Sir Jillead would've been proud of me this day.

Month x, Day xx

Ugh.. I think I've come down with something.. I don't think I'll be joining the roundup team today. I must admit I feel a bit ashamed that I am unable to assist in the recapture of the circus animals, but I fear my presence may only complicate things for my comerades.. Perhaps another day..

Arkose's Abridged Background

Young Ark was born in the small town of Acadia, a small farming community. Not long after his 12th year, his town was saved from ravaging owlbears by the paladin, Sir Jillead the Valliant. This heroic act inspired Ark to become a paladin himself. Putting his life behind him, he joined Sir Jillead as his squire. After four years of being a faithful squire, young Ark's life took a startling turn; his great hero Sir Jillead fell in battle, falling from an attack from a minotaur's last living moments. Distraught, Ark gave his hero a humble grave outside the minotaur's lair, keeping only the knight's signet ring, and there he prayed for answers for what he should do next. The gods then revealed to him that it was now his turn to strike out to bring glory to his own name. Although still being thought of as a kid, "Ark the Lad struck out to find his own path to glory, which has led him to the city of Fairmont. It is here that his story truly begins...

Van McAllistar, G'nome Extraordinaire

"If you can touch it, its real, everyone knows that Van", an old argument between him and his mother.

"What is real, is what a person believes. There is no reality without belief for the individual mind slash ego. And yes, everyone does 'know' as you stated..."

Something a little more convincing this time thought Van. A wave of his hand later a large snarling wolf came into the gnome sized living room from a hallway barely big enough to contain the creature.

"Watch out mother!" Van yelled. A sound which was drowned out by his mothers "my life is going to end" scream of terror.

A snap of his fingers later and the beast disappeared. "I had hoped you might have expected it that time" he sighed. "So, did you 'believe' that wolf was reality?"

His mother forced her reply through a shaking born of rage that appeared to be one step away from an aneurism, "Leave now", which while not a direct answer, was sufficient.

Perhaps it is not necessary for anyone to understand, Van thought to himself, not even my dear old mother, who may never speak to me again, he finished with an internal impish grin.

Thus it was similar for Van throughout his life. "Too smart for his own good" was commonly said behind his back... on a good day. Few appreciated his thoughts, so he shared them less and less often with "friends", learning to put on the proper face when the situation called for it. He learned that illusion didn't require magic at all. Now, at 30, still very young for a gnome, just out of his tweens, he is off to expand his understanding of the mind, to explore his ability to manipulate it, and to further understand exactly what it means to be "real".